So it’s official, Phillip and I are both registered for the San Antonio Rock N Roll Marathon (1/2 for me)! So come out and support us on November 14th if you’re around, or (if you are not magically in San Antonio on that Sunday with nothing else to do) just send an encouraging text to me or Phillip the night before, as I’m sure we’ll need it!
In other (vastly more important) news, we have recently been given the opportunity to form a relationship with a new friend, Ira. It came as a surprise to us, but of course, not for our sovereign and good God. We’ve been going through the Fall campaign with Christ Chapel, which focuses on using the “detours” in our lives to bring glory to God through sacrificial giving. So when we were presented with one of these very obvious “detours”, it was clear that as an act of obedience we would open our hearts and resources to invite this man into our life.
As a social worker, I tend to find little ways to let my pride take over in moments like these by assuming that I can anticipate needs and focus on the person, not the problem, etc. However, I never quite realized how much my life smacks of this awful pride, and how odious it is not only to our heavenly Father, but I’m sure to those around me. I found myself thinking the very things I (pridefully) judge other people for thinking, and then try to justify them with inapplicable Christian-friendly terms, like “stewardship” and “wisdom-based giving”, which for me, is only a feeble attempt to justify wanting to control the way I give. I don’t even really think I can call that giving, so much as allotting. Either way, let’s be honest, it sucks. And my motives for giving? Let’s see…”the more we give, the better we’ll feel”…”if we keep giving, he’ll keep needing us”…”I can check this whole generosity thing off my to-do list”…”people will think we’re so awesome”…sucks…stupid…legalistic…prideful…yep, my motives are COMPLETELY offensive!
So I tell my heart, “C’mon heart! Let’s try that again”, “for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own free will, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints” (2 Cor 8:2-4). Hmm, when was the last time I begged to give? Do I see giving as a favor God has granted me? Have I ever given beyond my means? What are my true motives showing me about how I view grace?
The point is, no matter how I try to look at it, our new friendship is teaching me so much more about my prideful and arrogant heart and the goodness of the grace we receive daily than I could have ever anticipated. It’s changing the way I pray, give, receive, ask, budget, think…you name it, God’s changing it! He’s taking my selfish heart and molding it, helping me see Ira and his family with His eyes, rather than mine. And, seeing my sweet husband in a new light as well – what a generous and strong man He’s given me!
So, why write about this?
-First, you guys GOTTA pray! For Ira, his health, his wife’s health, their hearts to be drawn to the sweetness of Christ. For me, that God will continue to break my selfishness and pride more every day. For Phillip, that God will continue to give him wisdom as he leads us.
-Second, a great way to fight this pride is to shine light on it. So, I’m shedding some light by confessing my pride and desire to control what is (rightly) God’s to you all, whoever you may be. And by asking you to occasionally ask me how my how my heart is doing, however cheesy that may sound.
-I don’t really have a third, but I think having 3 points justifies bullet points, just having two does not.
At any rate, that’s what’s new with us. Join us in praying, por favor.
Love and kittens,
Camille